MARITIAL BLISS!

H: Honey get in the car we’re gonna be late.

W: I’m almost done. Just hold on five more minutes.

H: You said that five minutes ago. Actually six minutes ago. (Looking at his watch)

W: You know you’re wasting my time. I could have been all done but nnnnnnnnnoooooo you wanted to whine some more because you don’t want to be late for your mommy’s birthday. I mean, she wouldn’t even know you’re there.

H: Don’t you be talkin’ bout ma mama like that now!

W: I’m sorry. I forgot. I don’t even know the whole truth now do I?

H: You can’t handle the truth you maggot pie.

W: Oh well that’s real mature of you. What are you like eight years old?

H: No, I happen to be reading Shakespeare right now you dismal- dreaming, dissembling, donnish, drowning, drama queen!!!(With an appearance of sureness)

W: Did you know, when I first saw you I thought you were handsome. Then of course, you spoke. So if I were you I’d stop speaking right about NOW.

H: I’ll stop speaking when you pay the bills.

W: When I pay the bills? When I pay the bills? (Furious) I work my ass off cleaning the house, cooking dinner, taking care of the kids and this is the thanks I get.

H: I suppose you didn’t know but, THAT’S YOUR JOB. (Wife shocked) What do you want for it a cookie? Show me the money! Until then I can say whatever I feel like whenever I please.

W: EXCCCUUSSEE ME? (Standing slanted, pointing her finger, irritated) Who are you talking to? Your job is to serve me slave. Give me the money so that I can do ma thing! You give me nothing’ else, sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to.

H: Listen WOMAN! I am the man of this house o.k. I wear the pants in this household and if you don’t like it then beat it. (Standing up to her) You know, my mother told me not to marry you. There’s a llotta things about me you don’t know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things you couldn’t understand. And you know what, I know about your little rendez - vous’s over to Ron’s house. Sherry told me everything.

OUR TIME IS NOW!

Are you ready for the times coming?
Are you ready for the rants and rages, the unspoken word on brown coloured pages?
The construction of destruction of rock hard frustration, which may seem to bring total annhilation.
Do you understand the problems of our world?
Abortion, global warming and drugs out in the cold.
Our lives threatened by what we don't know.
A new World War through dust, gravel and snow.
So, I applaud to you now, to stand up and fight.
You courageous soldiers with brains and might.
Do not share in the ferocious fists of fire, instead, educate, communicate, and overcome with brain power.
Put down the weapons and stop the warfare.
Live life to its fullest and I DARE YOU TO CARE.
So, if you have an antagonizing irate agony don't let others lead you down a path of blasphemy.
Now, that you are feeling the bliss to conquer it all Rise up my comrades and stand proud and tall.
Take a risk beyond control and say, "I Love You" because our time to empower is Right Now!

I Love You ...

I love you like the water flowing down the stream.
I love you like a championship win fora team.
I love you like cupid struck us forever.
I love you even if everyone thought you weren't clever.
I love you more than life itself.
I love you more that a child's car collection on a shelf.
I love you like the sun always shines.
I love you and hope you'll always be mines.

An obsession of Love.

In my heart there is a burning desire.
A desire that is undoubtedly for one person alone.
But, may I ask a question?
What is it that drives me to temptation
that leads me to believe that the world is
a girl of beauty, awe and poise. That she is
the very creator. The one who can control my every
action and is the source to all nature and life.

a ToUcH oF hUmOuR!!

Love, Love, Love- all the wretched can't of it, masking egotism, lust, masochism, fantasy under a mythology of sentimental postures, a welter of self-induced miseries and joys, blinding and masking the essential personalities in th efrozen gestures of coutship, in the kissing and the dating and the desire, the compliments and the quarrels which vivify its barrenness. - Germaine Greer.

To SAY or Not to Say. That is the question?

What is real and what is fake in our world? What is love and what is hate? Are we slaves to our feelings? Does LOVE really make us blind? DO we really become Numb and Dumb when love comes to our hearts? This is what Germaine Greer had to say;

Love, love, love- all the wretched can't of it, masking egotism, lust, masochism, fantasy under a mythology of sentimental postures, a welter of self induced miseries and joys, blinding and masking the essential personalities in the frozen gestures of courtship, in the kissing and dating and the desire, the compliments and the quarrles which vivify our barrenness.

This cacophony of cruel reality is the truth that our minds are incessant to immaterial affection. That are feelings may manipulate our minds like the way money manipulates the richest of retards in our world. But, this link that we may call LOVE manipulates humans to fulfill their dreams. Dreams that we may call aspirations. Aspirations are fulfilling thoughts that are driven by passion. Passion is what you have during the most exciting part of your life! It is like an exhilirating extacy of magnificent, mouth-watering, moreish zest that a person goes so far, as to even receive a molecule of scrumtuous desire. So that, that desire may cling to the brain like a young to a mother and it will send a message, " Love this person like you have never loved before and love will come through for you." These words will then be transmitted from your spinal cord to various parts of your body and a warmth will engulf the layers of your skin. Her first touch will give you tingles. That touch will be with you forever.

Slang/ Jargon/ Accent

Rasta: Hey there suga, lookin good!
Mandy: Thank you. Unfortunately you're NOT!
Rasta: OH baby, that was a good ansa but I man neva give up. Especially forhim babygirl, "TOO CRUX"
Mandy: Excuse me? Baby who? Listen to me you illiterate, obnoxious, egotistical, underhand, worthless, piece of garbage. I don't like sloppy men. Sloppiness is for the higher class. So why don't you scoot yourself away from me.

Inside the Hair salon!

Inside the hair salon, one is reading a sports magazine and the other approaches him.
T: (Sits beside Chris with folded legs) Can I borrow that when you’re done?
C: (Looks at him up and down) who the hell are you? Can you not see the other fucking magazines?
T: (Chuckles) that’s ok, Love, I'll read another one.
C: (Looks around with a confusing face) who were you talkin' to? You betta not be talkin' to me. I dont deal with homo's. (Gets up...looks at hair dresser) Are you bitches ready yet?
T: (puts hand on Chris's shoulder) Take it easy man, Do not worry your turn will come. Everyone will have their turn. (Smiles)
C: Get your God Damn Hands off of me before I beat u to a pulp!
T: Listen I will give you two options right now ok you can either apologize to all these ladies, grab your coat and have a cup of coffee with me downstairs OR u and I will simply have to fight this out which I really do not mind. (Lookin up and down his C’s body) U know u do like kinda fit. (Smiles)
C: Listen to me I’ll tell u once more that I don’t like gay’s or anybody like u people so why don’t you just go and kill yourself, man! You god dam freaks! I HATE YOU! Shit. You’re all the same. Always pissin me off and I can only take so much, so just fuckin leave me alone fruitcake and get off my back about everything! (Sweating and pale looking around with disgust).
T: I am so sorry my friend if I have offended you but I believe that if you have had a bad childhood, you should now forget that and move forward and live your life to its greatest and fullest meaning! Your mother did nothing for u so why should u be the bearer of her pains?
C: Who the hell are u?? When did u turn Ms. Cleo and when did u meet my mother u dumb shit.
T: Stop fighting it!
C-No shittbag why would I want to talk to you! You know what - except if it was your mother so I could get a good taste. Now get the fuck out of my way, before I punch the livin’ crap outta your body.
T: Let’s see you try. You can’t hit a man with dreamy blue eyes like me.
C: Oh ya?
T: Now let’s go back and start all over again. I think you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
C: Nah, I woke up on your momma’s bed tis’ morning.
T:*chuckles* Your a little daredevil aren’t you, Johnny boy?
Chris’ hands slowly evolve into the punching position. As Chris moves to show Tye a thing or two, Tye grabs hold of the hairdresser and uses her as a shield. Chris who was in anger, did not realize and punched with all his might. Chris’ white fist punched the hairdresser’s jelly belly, She quickly fell on the floor, clinging tightly to her stomach.
C: Oh fuck!
T: What the hell do we do now?
As the two finally stopped screaming at each other, their eyes were glued with one another. The moment we all were waiting for.

Slangs part 2

It was a dark night. Rain poured like god was crying and I ran from my car door with my jacket over my head to the entrance of the “WHISTLER”. It was a karaoke club where middle aged men like me, want to feel appreciated by younger women and pretend that we weren’t going through a middle aged crisis. As, I walked in I saw many other fellows that I’d seen before; some with wives, some with daughters and some with even grandchildren. But, anyways we didn’t care all we needed was a little attention from a sexy waitress who would occasionally put on a fake smile so that we could tell our neighbor, “She’s got the hots for me!”
I was escorted to a one seater table and chair and I ordered a cold beer with a side order of bar-b-que wings and looked around to see if there was anyone new in the place. Actually, there were two new faces I had never seen before but they weren’t sitting together and looked rather angry at each other for some reason? It didn’t bother me until I saw something that I had never seen before in my entire life. It was so GUBU that vomit came into my mouth and splurged all over the table and on to by shirt. The waitress came running and asked me what happened and I just stared and pointed and she dropped what she was holding and it crashed to the ground causing everyone in the club to stare. It was a jungle of hair on a woman’s legs. How could it be? How can she be wearing such a dress and never have shaven her legs? Is it really a woman or a MAN! I was shocked. I tried to gather my belongings, but, I just heard this voice come from that direction and it said, “Hey you good-looking! Like you want a piece ah dis?” I prayed that she wasn’t talking to me, but, she was facing my direction and I was sitting by the wall.
After, a short pause I couldn’t have left the situation so I mustered up some bravery and shouted out, “Hey uh CHI CHI MAN, badman don’t deal wid these things! Badman gon beat you down and kick you bozooty out of dis bar!” I had never felt so courageous in my entire life. Until, she got up and was very angry. She was walking towards me like a military army of combat trained professionals. Strong, muscular and unbwogable like a wrestler, trying to walk like a woman but you could clearly see the distinction. I wanted to cry and run away but, she looked like she could run fast even in those monstrous heels. We were face to face but she only did me one thing. Smiled. Then she walked away and as she left an uproar of laughter came from across the room and she gave the entire club the “one finger peace sign” and left the club.

Slangs

Hey, buddy! What's goin on? Nun brejrin, I jus deh bout bubblin all round deh place.